In the aftermath of the heated 2024 presidential debate, ABC stores across the United States have begun displaying bold signage to make one thing crystal clear: they have absolutely no connection to the television network responsible for airing the contentious event. From “ABC Fine Wine & Spirits” to “ABC Warehouse,” locations are posting disclaimers on […]
Archives for September 2024
“Breaking News: Netflix Loses Nearly 10 Million Subscribers in One Day Following Major Donation”.Cau
Hello America! Let me stun you guys with Netflix’s recent gigantic loss. Yes, you got it right. But why? What went wrong? Why did users get offended? Well, folks, hold down… Netflix’s CEO and Co-Founder, Wilmot Reed Hastings Jr., just donated $7 million to Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign. But wait… This big buck donation is […]
“Breaking: Elon Musk Launches New ‘Non-Woke’ Social Media Platform to Rival Meta”.Cau
Elon Musk, often known for his ventures into space and electric vehicles, is now stepping into a new arena: social media. His latest venture aims to challenge the dominance of platforms like Facebook, promising a fresh approach to free speech and moderation. Musk’s proposed platform, which he describes as “non-woke”, seeks to fill what he […]
“Breaking: Elon Musk Calls for Boycott of Tyson Foods, Declares ‘I’ll Never Buy from Tyson Foods Again!'”.Cau
In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the food industry, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has called for a boycott of Tyson Foods, declaring that he will never purchase products from the company again. Musk’s outspoken stance comes amidst mounting controversy surrounding Tyson Foods’ policies and practices, raising questions about the ethical implications of […]
“Breaking: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Joins Elon Musk’s New Non-Woke Production Studio, Declares ‘I’m Leaving Woke Hollywood'”.Cau
In a surprising turn of events that has jolted the entertainment industry, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has announced his departure from what he terms “Woke Hollywood” to join forces with tech mogul Elon Musk in a new film production venture that explicitly rejects politically correct culture. This move marks a significant shift for one of […]